So it's been a while since I have blogged, and quite frankly I know that there is no longer much of an audience for this, but what the hell, let's yap...what I want to talk about today is a bit more serious. I have ALWAYS considered myself the luckiest man in the world forever and a day. But back in January, I lost my mind with anger and rage. I finally I had to ask "Why was I always angry? Why did the seemingly littlest thing set me off?" Well, I finally decided that I needed to find out what was going on. I got my answer and it came as an absolute shock because I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety.
When the first diagnosis came out I was floored, then a couple of weeks later, I saw a friend in a business setting who knew. Two people now, so I'm asking - how can that be? Lots has happened to me in the past three years, I've had two jobs, became a Grandpa, made lots of new friends, became a "Traeger-holic", had some damn good bowling, and had a generally good life - many (myself included) would say that I have had the perfect life. Great family, lots of friends, and an all around good time. How could I possibly have this going on? It made no sense.
Then came the second diagnosis a couple of weeks ago confirming the first and what my friend saw. Believe it or not, I'm still a bit in shock - I still am upset about it, almost a type of shame - almost a form of weakness, but I saw a video today that changed me. I've done the research and found it to be very illuminating. I'm no longer ashamed, but I thought "if this can happen to me..."
I want you all to understand that I'm not writing this to gain attention for myself or to get anybody to feel sorry for me - far from it - I have a great life, a wonderful support system and have all the help I can muster. I'm here to tell you that I am working towards getting better.
The fact is that I am writing this is because unfortunately there are those who are not as fortunate as I. No matter how great somebody seemingly has it in life, they may actually be going through something with a lack of support or understanding - so I would ask that nobody judge because you simply don't know.
If you see a friend or family member, or even a stranger struggling, lend an ear, offer to talk. If you are in a position where you are constantly upset or some such thing - seek out a doctor and get checked. It may be nothing at all, but then again, it may be more.
I'll be back to with much lighter subject matter soon...
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